The Cleansing Rain
by AmarillosAmpharos
Summary: Ed finds that the rain can do funny things to everyone, including Roy, and soon they're both reaching shocking conclusions. ::Series:: AU
1. The Clensing Rain: Chapter I

Title: The Cleansing Rain

Part: 1/2

Rating: G

Character Pairing: Roy/Edward

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist that's all there is to it.

Summary: Edward and Roy feel the effects of a late morning rain storm, as they both come to life changing conclusions.

Warnings: None

Author's Note: This is an off the wall, behind the scenes sort of thing. I was tired of reading fanfics where Ed was just an impulsive foul mouthed boy, and Roy was a smug arrogant officer, the two needed to show some intimacy towards one another. Instead of being like two sex crazed children. I hope this can satisfy my need for some tenderness between the two. It may or may not reflect on how they really are, but who knows?  
  


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Ed looked out of the window which was beaded with rain droplets as the rain poured outside in front of him, he couldn't help but feel emotional during these times. Maybe it was the atmosphere that bad weather seemed to create that caused him to feel so sad and at times, even when he was with Al, alone. He sighed his breath causing the glass to temporarily fog in front of him. He stared back at his reflection in the glass, how young he looked, but how old he felt. His life experiences had caused him to age faster than his body did, he at some times felt, out of place in this small body of his.

Sometimes he wondered what it really felt like to be fifteen. He certainly didn't do what fifteen year olds did, and he definitely didn't act like a fifteen year old, except when he had his tantrums. He huffed, people complained about him being childish when he threw his tantrums, but they never stopped to think, that he had those tantrums because in his mind he had the right to be childish now and then. He didn't have to be Fullmetal all the time. It was his given right to be Edward Elric sometimes, even if people complained, it kept him sane, and that's what mattered. Without his sanity how would he ever restore his limbs and his brothers body?

He sighed again, causing the glass to fog more than it had last, bad weather brought about so many emotions, and they were all so damn confusing sometimes. Ed's eyes jerked as he caught the faint reflection of another being there behind him, he turned around not really alarmed by the presence. His eyes fell upon an unusual sight, it was Roy standing there watching him. He looked at Roy, his usual playful flare was gone, and replaced with something more soothing, maybe even the Flame Alchemist was effected by rain.

"Rain can be so soothing can't it" Roy spoke softly as he moved next to Ed placing his hand on the window causing a foggy ring to outline his hand.

Ed sat there watching him as Roy looked out of the window, his dark eyes reflecting the small flickers of lights out into the city. It had always amazed him how deep Roy's eyes could be, how much they could take in with a single glance. Finally Ed found his voice to give reply to Roy,

"Yea, I suppose it can be."

His answer wasn't really uncaring, or offhand, it was more content than anything. He felt fuzzy inside and the feeling caused him to relax into himself. Maybe emotional wasn't what rain caused in him, maybe rain actually was bring out who he truly was, making him relax and finally be himself. It was at this moment he felt like his name was Edward Elric, and not Fullmetal. That moment made him smile, as he joined Roy at the window looking out into the world outside drenched in rain.

"It's rare, to see you so content. "

Roy started softly his fingers trailing a bead of rain as it fell down the window gathering other rain droplets into it. He continued talking, quietly as if not to shatter the soft moment in which they were held.

"It's so rare that you let your true personality show, so rare, you are you..." He paused to look at Ed, "When people look at you, they only see the hot tempered and impulsive Fullmetal, the Alchemist Genius. If only they could see you now, as the rain cleanses the world around us, you're sitting here truly yourself." He says gently calmly.

Ed turned to look at Roy, how he looked so different in the faint light caste and reflected from the street lamps. He looked almost human standing there looking back at him, something jumped inside his chest as he felt himself falling into Roy's dark and endless eyes. They held no pity and no smugness, just softness and tenderness. Something he'd never seen in Roy before, it was so nice to be sitting there staring into his eyes, how beautiful they were.

Roy returned Ed's gaze, he'd always secretly admired the boy for being as powerful and as strong as he was physically and mentally. At such a tender age he was already a national alchemist, and it was to no surprise as to why they'd deemed him the "Alchemist Genius". Still Ed held a sort of, well, flare, to who he was and how he thought. He was considerate and kind in all forms, weather he's admitted to himself that he holds these qualities was a mystery to him. Still he couldn't help but admire and maybe even love Edward for who he ways, a fifteen year old boy with a big heart.

"So strange, how when it rains like this, I feel at some kind of peace with myself. It's like the rain's washing away my guilt and allowing me to some how, let me forgive myself" Ed whispers softly breaking the gaze Roy held him in, as he looked down at his hands.

Roy watched Ed softly as he spoke to him revealing words, opening a sort of small window to the boy he really was on the inside. Someone else would have been frightened of this change in Ed's usual persona, but he felt honored that Ed was showing this side of his self, to him. Ed continued talking staring out the window,

"Its like the rain is drenching me, washing away the dirt and grim left on me. Soothing my skin with cool hands, it's like my mother's hands are washing over me. Her voice comes to my mind and I can hear her comforting me telling me everything is going to be okay, and that no one hates me for the mistakes I've made in my past. For those few split seconds, I feel finally free...free of everything..." He whispers gently.

Roy nodded and returned looking out at the rain. He felt like he should say something, anything to assure Ed that really no one hated him. He picked at Ed often, but it's never with the intention of hurting him, just to lighten his usually serious dedication. Seeing Ed spend his life so dedicated to a cause so great as his, made him a bit sad, he didn't hold pity for Ed, no it wasn't pity at all. It was more along the lines of, understanding the situation he was in and helping that someday soon, Ed would experience somewhat of a normal life. There again he was hoping foolishly, but he spoke anyways with a soft and tender tone,

"Maybe it's not your mother talking to you, maybe it's yourself telling you that you're holding unnecessary guilt. You disguise it subconscious as your mother, so you won't feel guilty about actually wanting to forgive yourself for something that some people would call, fool hearted."

Ed looked at Roy as he spoke, standing beside him like that he realized even when he was relaxed he seemed to command so much power to himself. The strength and pride he held when he stood up, even like this, was overwhelming.

Still, he couldn't help feeling so comfortable talking with his superior this way. He tried to tell himself that it was the rain playing with his head and emotions, but another more dominant half of his conscious mind told him that this sort of feeling was right and he believed that dominant half.

He sighed gently, almost contently reaching out softly taking the colonel's hand into his own human hand, feeling the rough calluses on his palm. Roy turned looking at Ed, tightening his hand around Ed's gently. The small gesture, each consented to gave both of them a sense of closeness they had never felt, not with one another and certainly not with another person. Why the gesture was made was lost to both of them, but they neither questioned nor fought the closeness. The warmth it created between them both, was too precious and vital to the moment as Roy sat down next to Ed, hands still connected.

Roy enjoyed this so much, he felt feelings in his soul stir, feelings that he'd often wondered if he lost or had lacked the ability to feel. The warmth reached the pit of his stomach, as he unraveled his hand from Ed's. Ed looked at him, and for a moment a sadness flashed in his golden eyes, Roy gave a tender smile and drew Ed into his arms. Holding Ed there softly, Ed gasped out as he was pulled into his superiors strong arms, here, somehow it felt so safe and secure.

Still a momentary thought crossed his mind, 'I'm not gay', the thought passed swiftly through his mind as he dismissed it. It didn't matter what sexual orientation he was and his rank didn't matter much either not at this point in time. What mattered was that, in Roy's arms he felt he had a home again some place to return to after a tiring day, or a shoulder to lean on without feeling ashamed or embarrassed. Roy spoke softly, the words vibrating through his chest at the back of Ed's head,

"Ed, I've been thinking, for some time now, about taking a vacation to my summer home in the mountains. I'd put it off many times prior, but this time I want to actually take it. I want you to take a vacation too" he said to Ed.

Ed leaned his head back on Roy's chest, craning his neck back to look up into the Colonel's smiling face. He blinked at him briefly before giving him a reply,

"...I don't need one, I'm fine" he answers feeling as if Roy had somehow rejected him, after showing him how good it felt to be so intimate with someone.

Roy smiled softly, noting the slight disappointment staining Ed's voice, "yes you do, that's why I want you to come with me"

Ed could have sworn his heart had either jumped or stopped beating completely as Roy spoke those words to him so tenderly and sincerely. He couldn't help but feel happy, for once in his life he actually felt happy without the restrains of guilt holding him back. Still a sudden thought crossed his mind,

"What about Al?"

"Let him go visit Winry, I'm sure he wouldn't protest to the thought" Roy says gently.

"I still can't help but feel bad for parting with him." Ed admits softly.

Him and Alphonse had always traveled together, how was he suppose to explain to his little brother that he was going to the Colonel's mountainside cabin to spend time with him? He couldn't help but muse himself by imagining Al's reaction when he told him. He only hoped that Al understood, and was okay with the idea too. Roy brought him back from his thoughts softly,

"I understand, if you don't want to go, I'm not going to force you"

Ed only huffed gently, he really wanted to go more than even he'd admit to himself. He wanted to be with Roy how ever shape or form it took, he liked being so close to Roy, he liked coming home. He looked at Roy leaning his head back against his chest,

"I want to come with you..." Ed paused a strange thought crossing his mind, as he voiced it "If only to be this close to you again, I will go with you"

Roy gave Ed that tender smile again, and Ed returned it softly. Without their knowledge the rain had stopped, and the clouds had cleared. The first rays of the morning sun reaching in to touch both their faces warmly, as if Ed's mother was silently thanking them both for finding their way back home.


	2. Wondering Snow: Chapter II

Wondering Snow

By: Jennifer N. Bauters

Disclaimer: I don't know the series or anything like that. I thought this up to go to part one of Cleansing Rain, I know it's shorts but, I was very tired. I hope you all enjoy.

Roy looked upon the icy cold snow, it had been so long since he'd seen so much snow. He sighed, and looked around his office, and looked at the photo of him and Ed, he smiled at the fond memories that flooded to him, he picked up the photo delicately and looked at it, Ed seemed so happy in it, so joyous. Now Ed was long gone, Roy frowned and sighed, listening to the snow howl around the empty building. He always came here, to this room to think, he rested his head on his hands fingers intertwined under his chin. He turned again to the window, he watched as the snow fell, so pure, so white. He blinked and touched the class, it must be so nice, to be so carefree; to fall where you want, to just; be.

He loved his job, it was stressful, he had power, but something was always missing, Ed had filled that emptiness within him. Now he felt as if things were growing dark around him, and it pained him greatly. He blinked as he tried to fight the tears, he'd tried so hard to find out what was wrong with ed that day but no decent reply did he receive. He touched his hands gently looking at them and blinked outside as a tear fell down his cheek. He looked at his reflection within the glass, he touched his mirrored self gently. He felt so ugly, so useless when Ed needed him most when HE needed Ed the most, he was no where to be found. He longed to hold the small blond haired alchemist in his arms and feel safe to feel full again. But no shelter did he find from the pains in his heart. Roy moved back to his chair, he looked at the photo of him and ed again. He shook his head, as he leaned back looking at the ceiling of his office. How he missed Ed, everything about Ed right down to his childish ways.

It had all started that day Ed went out on a mission, Roy didn't think the mission was too hard. But as Ed always did, he did more than his worth and ended up badly hurt. Roy had visited him several times in the hospital. He didn't stay too close, because he didn't want people to get suspicious but he visited when he could and when he did he stayed for as long as he was allowed. When Ed came to, Roy was waiting for him, Ed blinked at him and looked away, Roy recalled the day painfully he felt his heart shatter as Ed looked away from him in shame. Roy sighed and did everything he could to try to get Ed to talk that day, but no words did Ed offer him, not a single one did he utter not a single word did he whisper to Roy. When Roy left, he left his heart in ruins, he visited still, until Ed got out of the hospital, and then Ed just disappeared out of no where just up and left.

Roy leaned back in his chair in tears as he watched the ceiling. He let himself fall back in to the days of yesterday, where him and Ed would pick at one another play and horse around, sleep together, do intimate things to one another, with so much love and passion. He remember the way Ed's eyes looked upon him with love and admiration; he longed for those eyes and that touch once again. Roy felt a sob rack his chest hard as he busted out into a full blow sob. He couldn't express, no amount of words could say how he so missed Ed, and how his being gone so long was killing him from the inside out. He wanted yesterday, those days of love, devotion, and happiness, he wanted that hole to be filled again with the boy, he desperately loved. But that boy wasn't here now to give him the love he use to give or to receive the love he would so willing give back to him. No; that boy was long gone, as if having fallen off the face of the earth, he was gone form Roy's life.

Roy had always secretly promised himself if he saw ed again, he would beg and plead with Ed to stay to keep beside him, and to tell him what had happened those days he was off on that mission. He was dying even now, to know it was killing him like a disease that no doctor could cure. He jerked as there came a light knock on his door, he compose himself quickly and moved into a more intimidating position.

"come in" he said softly but sternly.

The door crept open softly, and in stepped a dream, Roy almost lost himself again. He had to check his surroundings and back at the dream that stood before him. Sullen and dirty, Edward Elric stood before Roy looking at him as if he'd been through hell. Roy got up quickly.

"Ed? Ed?" he begged and pleaded, Ed looked at Roy and busted into tears and flung himself into Roy's arms, Roy held him closed. He was almost in tears again himself, he tried desperately to compose himself as he soothed the crying boy in his arms, they stayed like that for what felt like eons to Roy but he didn't mind, Ed looked at Roy and shook his head, "I'm so sorry Roy " he whispered Roy blinked "for what?" he asked gently. "For not realizing what I had " Ed said "I spend months wondering around looking for something that I felt I'd lost something I never lost to begin with" Ed said tear strung down his pale and beaten face "you" he whispered softly. Roy kissed Ed's forehead " Ed " he whispered gently.

Ed hugged him back, "I'm so sorry I've done such a horrible thing to you I ran off and left you behind with no so much as a good bye to you. I I couldn't face you" he said Roy looked at him "why, why couldn't you face me?" he asked.

Ed looked down trying to keep his face hidden, he couldn't bare to look at Roy he felt so dirty so tainted, he never knew something that him and Roy shared intimately would be stripped and torn away from him so violently, so painfully. Ed let a sob rack through his sore chest, as he hugged Roy again, "God Roy.." he said as if praying for some protection from a god. Roy held him close "Shh, don't worry we have all the time in the world don't' rush" he said,

Ed nodded in the mans chest, Roy looked up at the snow which had stopped "do you remember " Roy said softly "that night when I found you looking out into the rain storm and we talked of, intimate things that neither of us had mentioned even to ourselves?" he asked, Ed nodded "Yes I remember that night I remember how the rain brought us together how it was so calm and peaceful, and then the morning came, and it was like a fresh new start" Ed remembered fondly.

Roy smiled "yes yes, it was like a fresh new start now it's cold and it's snowing frozen rain falling quietly outside" he said gently "not a soul around, everyone inside bundled up close to a fire with family, friends and lovers " he said. Ed looked at Roy. "Ed I missed you so much" Roy said gently "I came here today, to think to try and find myself again, to try and reconnect with myself. I was losing myself fast, I couldn't concentrate on work, I couldn't' sleep I barely ate Gods how I've missed you like the snow is white, my world was black" he said gently "I couldn't see hope, I saw nothing but the far reaches of an abysses that I couldn't tame, I was wondering helpless in a world without you" he said gently. And kissed ed fully on the lips.

"And now you're here and I beg of you Edward Elric please, what ever troubles ale you, what ever demons haunt you at night let me be by your side, to help you to be your supporting shoulder, to walk you through the darkness" he asked looking into Ed's eyes deeply "Let me be the one to tell you it's going to be alright, let me be the one to hold you close when you cry, or when you're afraid. Let me be the lover I promised to you I would be. Don't leave me again for my world is nothing without you" Roy said in tears. Ed looked at Roy startled to see him crying so openly, he hadn't thought that Roy had missed him so much as to cry like this now.

Ed reached whipping away the warm tears on Roy's face, he felt so bad having caused such a beautiful and caring man, so much pain. Pain he didn't' need nor deserved. Ed nodded "I won't leave again Roy, I promise but please I beg you, if I tell you what happened will you not love me any less?" ed asked, Roy looked at ed stunned "Ed I could never love you less " he said passionately "You are my life my shining star the glimmer of hope that keeps me dreaming I could never love you less." Roy said. Ed nodded, " I was raped" he said, Roy felt pain and anger shoot through him and he hugged Ed close "Ed oh dear god, Ed" he said keeping Ed warmly close. Ed held on to Roy loving the warmth that he provided him, the security he found and the love, oh the love was passionate and warm.

Ed looked at Roy who brushed back his hair from his face "Ed I'm so sorry I wasn't there to help you to protect what was most dear to me from the unclean Ed, I'm here don't you worry, I'm here and Dear god, Do I love you so" Roy said, Ed smiled and leaped kissing Roy deeply, "Roy Aishiteru" he whispered gently as Roy leaned against he wall with ed close to him, as both of them slipped off into a blissful slumber filled with dreams of a brighter tomorrow. 


End file.
